Team Lead Or Manager?
My journey into becoming one and what I’ve learned from that moment till now
Introduction
Story of me becoming a manager/team lead, what I went through, and what I read to become who I am today. I’m still just starting, but maybe it will help you if you’re starting too!
Beginning
Before I started my work in 2012, I had no clue about different managers, what they do, etc. I had a feeling that a manager’s job is easy — you tell people what to do, and they follow. So it felt quite natural that at some point, I wanted to become one. It looked like an easy job to tell other people what to do until I realized that it’s not fun when you’re on the receiving end of it…
Before I become one, I must think like one.
I’ve had experience with different types of managers, their values, and their view of work. Somehow I saw that a team lead is a better-persuaded name than a manager, just because managers — manage and team leads — lead. So naturally, my future vision switched from becoming a manager to become a team lead. Moving between different companies and different management styles shaped my views of what I’d seek to be when I’m promoted — avoiding things that I disliked and focusing on what I enjoyed when being a subordinate, gathering other people’s thoughts on this topic too. I somehow felt that it’s the right thing to do, and maybe when I’m promoted, other people would like it too. So I started reading books on management and leading; some were boring, not interesting, or just not fitting to me.
Things I really enjoyed reading (or listening in Audio format):
Promotion time
Time flew by, I worked my butt off, and it paid off. I’m promoted to team lead, NOT a manager! I didn’t have any official training on how to act or be one before. So I was going with my gut feeling and previous experience. What I saw as a must or where to focus:
Trust and mutual respect. The helping thing for me was that I had a deep relationship with my guys. We had a trusted relationship, and I really hoped they didn’t see me differently after the promotion. Fortunately, it didn’t change!
Treat 1–1 always the same. If you have to cancel — do it in advance, inform the person beforehand, or better — reschedule them with a clear message why you’re doing this. You’ll show that you value their time. Sometimes it happens, and you don’t have anything specific to talk about things not connected to work. These general check-ins tighten the relationship. Though if you only make it about these check-ins, it will lose its purpose quite fast; it will look like a waste of people’s time. So one mitigation might be to make those 1–1 less frequent.
More listening and keeping all about them, not about you. This one, in particular, was and still is super hard. I think it’s because people, by nature, are ego-centric, and they prefer to focus on them. But it’s your job as a manager to show that you care about them, and your job is to help them do their job and grow them to their full potential.
Honesty and vulnerability. With all my guys, when I started on the first 1–1, I said, I’m doing this for the first time officially. If something doesn’t feel right — say it out loud; I’m open to all suggestions, I want to make it all work the best way possible. In my eyes, I became vulnerable with them, voicing my fear and honestly saying how I feel. This makes the connection to people deeper, and afterward, it’s easier to talk about pressing matters or issues just because you exposed yourself to them too.
Should I call myself a Manager or not?
The term “Engineering Manager” started to pick up — sounds super cool, but it had that “Manager” inside, making me dislike it. But then we had a management/leadership course by a consulting company.
At the start of all of it, I thought, not this corporate crap again. No way I’m getting any value of this, but I was polite and went to it, hoping maybe at least some information will be useful to me.
OMG! All this course blew my mind. I understood:
Team Lead and Manager are synonyms, but people dread the “Manager” word and see it negatively because of historical reasons. So nowadays, they should both mean the same thing.
I understood the servant leadership concept.
What to ask to know what motivates a person
Situational leadership
No structure in 1–1 will not work.
When and how to give feedback.
Summary
After a year and a half, I know that I’m just starting my journey in being a manager/team lead, but I’ll give my best to read and learn how to be a good one. It’s hard, sometimes you can only learn by your mistakes, but it’s a skill. You can learn it if you really put effort into it.
I’d say focus on:
trust people more
listen more instead of saying what to do (of course, there are situations where you have to do be firm or even micromanage people)
be honest
genuinely care about them
make yourself vulnerable — we’re all humans.
This will help you build relationships with people; that’s what makes it all work (at least that’s my view).
Some cool articles I found out in my current company onboarding on 1–1s which I’d really liked: